On your part in making it better...
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Yes, you create your own fortune ... a recent gem from Chan's in Spring Lake. |
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"Luck is preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca (There's some luck right there; I looked up who said this, and it happens to be the same person I quoted last night.)
So, Muskegon, and all of my readers (and myself), now that we know it does get better, we can move on to the natural next question: How?
Well, there are myriad ways, of course, depending on your situation and what you want out of life, but the one true path I've found is the one you make yourself - and that starts with your thoughts and dreams of the future. No, this is not some b.s. answer, and no, it's not some silly thing. It works. Take it from a former, very unhappy skeptic. You do need a big backpack full of patience and some tools for frustration, but the right path will be there if you lay it out in front of you, first in your mind...
Let's say you want to be paid more for your work. Okay, the first question is, why? What do you want to do with that money? Buy a better house or fix up the one you're in? Go on a much-needed vacation? You've got to take it beyond "I want more money," or you'll focus on the negative and bring more of that into your life. Let's say it's the house. In this case, envision the house you want. Get it down to the details. Dream about it whenever you have a free moment - not only is it fun, it will take your mind off of the fact that you aren't getting paid what you think you deserve. Then, when you've got your vision of the house you want down, you can start talking about it with the people around you (or maybe they'll be along for the whole process) ... and you can start taking steps toward making it happen, like getting that raise.
Will it happen right away? Doubtful. Will it take a couple tries? Maybe. Even if it seems impossible? That's the thing: Once you start thinking about what you want in your life, you will start to see the possibilities, instead of just the obstacles, no matter how big they seem. Maybe you'll find a better job, maybe you'll even start your own business ... but that will never happen if you just focus on what's missing.
This works in all areas of life, even the most difficult ones. Maybe you want stronger friendships. Start thinking about what type of friendship you want, again down to the details, and you will start finding the energy to make it happen, whether it's transforming existing connections or finding new ones. Perhaps you want to be more active. Again, why? Do you want more energy? More fun? Picture yourself joining a cooking class or knitting club or group sport you've always wanted to try, and the opportunities will come eventually.
I have seen this happen over and over in my life. Here is one powerful example: One summer during my college years, during a trip abroad, I fell in love with coastal living and, specifically, sunsets over water. I decided I wanted to experience more of this lifestyle and changed my focus from moving to the biggest city I could find to moving to a coast. I thought about this a lot, about watching sunsets over water, going to the beach, hiking coastal areas ... I also was pursuing a career I was passionate about and looked forward to getting an internship in it the next summer ...
So, when the next summer came ... I didn't get to go anywhere. No big city, no coast, no mid-size city in the middle of the country. No internship. What did I end up doing? Stayed at the same job and took some more classes in the same place. Every night, I would watch the sun go down over some random field or, more likely, parking lot, as I'd be in-line skating ... I'd picture water instead of grass or concrete. It was just more fun and I enjoyed it. Fast-forward to the next spring: I'm still not sure what I'm going to do for another summer, not really excited about any of the potential job prospects, when an email about a job comes through touting the "finest beaches, best hiking, and coastal living" in Michigan and comparable to anywhere in the country ...
Yes, that's Muskegon. No, I had no idea that the dream I'd been dreaming was going to happen in my home state ... or even could. (Really. As someone from Oklahoma once remarked while watching the sunset at Pere Marquette (to me, ironically - maybe so I could share it with you all one day), "You guys have no idea what you have here" - and neither do many of us from other parts of the state.) Yes, I had hoops to jump through and yes, I almost didn't get an interview due to a scheduling snafu. But that's part of the process, at least in my life: Whenever you decide you really want something, life gives you a series of tests to prove it. Best to be prepared and know exactly what you need to prove ... to life and to yourself.
That email wasn't exaggerating, Muskegon. That summer was a dream. This place can be a dream. You just have to let yourself dream.
See you on your path...
--Imaginer