Muskegon, you must first love yourself...

"No lines ... and lots of empty parking spaces. Of course Muskegon is the spot!"

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt

“Be yourself. No one can be you as effectively as you can.” –Author Unknown (by me)

“Keep Austin Weird!” –Austin, Texas

“Keep Portland Weird!” –Portland, Oregon

Okay, Muskegon: Time for some tough love. This ridiculous inferiority complex you’ve been carrying around? It’s high time to get rid of it, once and for all. Send it packing. Put it on a plane … but before you do, talk to your airport about the preposterous ad campaign it’s got going on…

As I pulled into the Port City a couple months ago, drove down Sherman toward that literally breathtaking vista at the intersection with Beach Street, I came across this:

Say what, Muskegon??

What the heck is this supposed to mean?? It’s condescending even in font – and, let’s be honest, desperate. We all know it’s hard times out there, but for the love of all that is righteous and good – and for your own sake – you don’t have to stoop that low. People will come. People will go. Via the airport. They’ll even pay to park there. You don’t have to go begging them and making one-liners at your own expense. That might even drive them away. Particularly when they see the “Fly Smart. Fly Ford.” ad…

‘Cause here’s a little secret, Muskegon: Nobody covets the defective merchandise, no matter how cheap. No one wants to be that sucker in the restaurant with no wait because all of the smarter, informed people are eating at the tastier, more reasonable spot down the street. Catch my drift?

I don’t think you do, Muskegon. Because just yesterday, I saw this update: “Of course there are more parking spots. You’re in Muskegon.” Really, Muskegon, really? Here's another secret: Nobody comes here for the easy parking. Not one down-on-his-luck, sad, sad, little person, no matter how badly he needs to get out of his town. Same with the airport: Yes, short lines are great, but guess what? Vibrant cities with reasons to have full airports are better.

You want to know what will bring those elusive tourists? You know, the ones who go to Grand Haven, Traverse City, Grand Rapids? How about some confidence? How about promoting your strengths? ‘Cause guess what, Muskegon? You’ve got a lot of ‘em. Yes, you do. No, you’re not Saugatuck. Or Holland. Or South Haven. You’re Muskegon. You’ve got a lot to be proud of. And focusing on the lines and full parking spots of the other, cookie-cutter beach towns won’t fill your airport or attractions.

You think Austin, Texas got so hip by trying to be Dallas? That Portland, Oregon is a magnet for the young and entrepreneurial by copying Seattle? Heck, no. They’re unique and proud. They accentuate their positives, work with what they have, and the people come in droves. Every chic Austin or Portland or Minneapolis is a just a bigger Muskegon that believed in itself.

It’s time to stop the self-deprecation, Muskegon. So what if some Grand Rapidians turn their noses up? Who cares if certain Grand Havenites look down? They probably have no idea what you’ve got to offer.  It’s time to take the power back. Build yourself back up.

I’ll give you the first of my ideas on how to do this tomorrow. In the meantime, I really hope I don’t see any more cracks about empty spaces. You’re better than that, Muskegon. Much better.

--Imaginer